GoodBye to 828

The year after college I lived with some of my dearest friends in apartment 828. This apartment has been in our circle of friends for several years now, and the girls that live there currently have decided to move out, so it's goodbye to 828!

All the girls that have lived in 828 gathered for one last shinding tonight before it's not longer ours. (We were sad to miss the newly married Ms. Nagel and also Ashley far away in Virginia.)

We've had great memories. Here are a few that stick out about the "mack shack":
- Finals week Disney parties
- putting together invitations for Meryl's wedding
-trapping a cockroach in a glass bowl until it could be killed and disposed of by a boy
- Ashley, Ashley, and Meryl dinners
- Liz accidentally turning on the voiceover on Christi's laptop
- David asking me to be his girlfriend
-fun trips to 59 diner
- fun stories with Melody and Liz (about 'jousting')
- a LOTR marathon
-lots of cooking
- gnoming the Richmond boys
-card nights with David and Mark

I'm so grateful for these memories. I'm grateful for the shelter 828 was to us. I'm grateful for the girls that lived there and the friendships that were formed there.

Bittersweet

Today is a bittersweet day.

I'm packing up my apartment, and it is a really weird feeling.
When I got here, I imagined making a life here in this apartment, living here for several years. I imagined what it would be like to live here, entertain here, cook here, and maybe one day, not even live here alone :) And so now that it's over, it feels weird.
Don't get me wrong, I still feel like I'm walking forward in the best way possible, but it is still kinda surreal, and very bittersweet.

I'm sad to pack up all my fun kitchen stuff. I know that I will use it all again someday soon, but until then, I will miss all my kitchen goodies. I will miss coming home and seeing that my DVR has taped like 7 Monks from me to choose from. I will miss getting to decorate and re-decorate any way that I want. I will miss quiet spaces and time.

I won't miss being afraid of being alone at night. I won't miss trying to combat an evil cockroach by myself. I won't miss trying to cook and plan meals for one. And I won't miss Waco water.

Here are some long awaited pictures.


Even though I think that heading to Houston for school is the right thing to do, I will remember this place and time fondly. I am grateful for the opportunity that has been.

To Houston tomorrow!!!

Some Very-Not-Collected Thoughts

Usually when I want to write something out, it has been rolling around in my head for a good long time. I write pretend fragments, sentences and paragraphs in my head. Sometimes I want to begin to write it out, but I find myself hesitant to even begin typing. It is as if my thoughts are not ready to be 'birthed' yet. And then, when it comes, it comes in a big way, and it is all there, ready to be written out. It's a process I've grown to love. I'm not usually disappointed when I sit and can't write, because I know it is 'cooking' in my head and thoughts, and I'm excited about when it will all come out.

But tonight, my thoughts are not together. I don't feel as if all these thoughts are ready to be 'birthed.' Instead, they are a tangled mess, confused, untested, and possibly, incorrect. But tonight, I am going to write. Tonight I am going to attempt to use my writing to help me come to grips on and solidify my thoughts.

My sophomore year of high school one of my close friends committed suicide. It was a huge crisis of faith for me; I struggled to reconcile what had happened with what I had thought and believed about God my life thus far. I questioned everything and anything. I believe that eventually God granted me huge amounts of grace to get through this tough time.
I clung to truths like:
He has a plan. He is God because he takes horrible shameful things and redeems them.
He uses bad things for good.
He is sovereign.
I am not God; I will not understand.

These seemed to suffice for the time being. I was able to learn that God was going to use my friend's suicide, that somehow in his sovereignty, he could redeem it and use it for good.

Last week a man who was an acquaintance of mine committed suicide. I barely knew the man, meeting him once or twice, but we had close mutual friends. When I heard of this happening, I was greatly discouraged. I found myself thinking the same thoughts as when Paula had died, almost reliving that grieving process. All the questions arose again.

But, I've been greatly encouraged by this man's church. They have reacted with great faith, not great despair.
"Jesus will redeem this," they say.
"We are not shaken," they say.
"We serve an amazing God," they say.

I'm encouraged by their faith, by their reaction. I am encouraged by a group of people who stand firm, whose faith is so real and authentic, that when faced with great tragedy, their response is "we are not shaken."

I didn't even know the man, and I'm not sure that that was my response. Being brutally honesty, I was a little shaken.

The church put a link to this funeral sermon by John Piper. I'm encouraged by his words too. Read it.
Take note of the end.

At the end, Piper encourages those who 'survive' a friend/family member who has committed suicide to "..be utterly committed.." in response to this tragedy.
He says:
Therefore Let This Death Not Be in Vain: Let It Make Us Utterly Committed to Overcome the Enemy That Brought Him to the Grave

• Give his death worth and meaning by letting it make you hate sin and Satan and unbelief.
• Let it make you blood-earnest about spiritual things.
• Let it strip you of unbelief.
• Let it be his last loud cry against the dangers of the powers of darkness.

What could honor him more than to let his death be a covenant between you and him, sealed with his own blood,

• that you, from this day forth, will fight with all your might the enemy that brought him to his grave;
• that you will wear the whole armor of God; and
• that you will take the sword of the Spirit, the Bible, and practice with that sword so regularly, so diligently, so earnestly that you become valiant for the Savior who did not leave him blind, broke the prison walls of his unbelief . . . and caught him when he fell.

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May we 'HATE sin and Satan and unbelief.'
May we be 'blood-earnest about spiritual things.'
May we 'fight with all (our) might the enemy...'

I need His grace for every moment and every breath. I don't ever want to take for granted His grace that sustains me in every moment, the moments I understand, and the moments I don't understand. I am utterly dependent on Him. May this cause me to be utterly committed to Him.